Things to do when your world caves in

Eighteen months ago, my child became critically ill. We spent the three weeks leading up to Christmas in the hospital, one of them in the ICU. That dreamlike experience is something I haven’t written about, and perhaps I never will. It feels too fragile, like a scene inside a snow globe made of wafer-thin glass.

A few days ago, we were back in the emergency room. As I kept vigil while my son slept, my nervous system flooded with memories. Here are the three things I did to cope:

1. Meditated
2. Journaled
3. Cried

Meditation sharpens the pencil I use to journal. Many practices can feel meditative because they slow us down and help us access a flow state. But they are not meditation. Meditation is the deliberate act of entering a calm, focused, and wakeful awareness. It is my most valuable skill, for reasons that span psychology, philosophy, spirituality, and physiology: useful in daily life; essential in A&E.

As soon as my son was settled and resting, I took out my notebook. I wrote affirmations, prayers, and promises. I asked myself questions: Is this the same as last time? How is it different? What are all the possible outcomes? I accessed my wise mind and wrote to myself in the second person, from that slightly removed, nurturing perspective. I wrote freely, letting thoughts spill out unchecked, as though they were being poured from my head onto the page. As the pen moved in slow loops, my body and mind began to synchronise. And when emotion rose and needed to leave my body, I stepped away to a private space and cried - just long enough to let the energy move so I could return steady.

These were the tools that kept me grounded and composed during eight hours of waiting until the doctor finally arrived. They are the same tools I use daily to keep my words, thoughts, and actions aligned. Many people come to self-development in times of crisis or confusion. But it's in those moments that having an established practice will serve us best.